You want to.
You know you want to and you can’t fool me. Your calm-and-collected look is downright pathetic when I can see you shoot a glance at me every five minutes, waiting for a reaction. Every inch of your body aches with anticipation. Self-inflicted ambiguity has dominated your words for so long that you think by now it has numbed the pain but you’re terribly wrong. It’s just as painful as every other time and you do it all the same. Let’s face it, the fact that you have an eternity to think of the perfect answer that is just the right mixture of wit and indifference is an advantage that cannot be reached through any other communicational means. It’s just what you’re looking for, isn’t it? Absence of genuine response and natural reaction. I’m honoured to be your safe barrier. Something to hide behind, an invisible platform from which to express yourself without the fear of being judged. If anything goes wrong you can always blame it on the grammar and punctuation, right? I mean there’s always the asterisk button. So you just calmly sit down and have what ironically turns out to be a most theatrical conversation without ever raising your voice. Without ever even using you voice, actually. A whole conversation, a play of emotions, a change of opinions, all in silence. Oh, now it’s your turn. That’s right, make them wait. Make them beg for a response. Let them go over every single possibility of why you haven’t responded so many times in their head that it drives them insane. Leave just enough time for their imagination to get the better of them. Picture it in your mind how badly they want a response. Secretly take some delight in their pain. Forget the fact that you were in that position five minutes ago and repeat this role-reverse over and over for hours until the damage done to the reality of this interaction cannot be undone. Ah, isn’t this a treat to watch. I love being the medium for such a bizarre phenomenon. Two people trapped in a ridiculous, virtual game that they take to be effective communication. So caught up with the metaphors and the smiley faces and the abbreviations, they don’t realize that they’re moving farther and farther away from the truth of this moment. The key is in the ambiguity I provide, you see. There is so much reading-between-the-lines involved that there is almost no chance of anyone walking away with the right conclusion. Me, I just sit back and enjoy the show. You people fascinate me with the extent to which you can misuse a piece of technology.
(Now, I'm no expert in real-world experiences but I hear there is something about looking into the depths of someone’s eyes when you talk to them. Do us all a favour and go live this conversation in person. I think you want to.)
